The Vent: Dec. 31 - East Valley Tribune: The Vent

The Vent: Dec. 31

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Posted: Wednesday, December 31, 2008 5:47 pm | Updated: 11:34 pm, Fri Oct 7, 2011.

 “I rode the rail on Saturday afternoon and although here are a lot of kinks to work out it was a very positive experience — and the weather was gorgeous.”

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 “I rode the rail on Saturday afternoon and although here are a lot of kinks to work out it was a very positive experience — and the weather was gorgeous.”

Have more to say? Send in your vent

“The Sycamore-and-Main stop was just that: 'sick-a-more.’ Somebody threw up on the floor of the train car in front of me.”

“The good news is that there’s going to be a tax break for the middle class. The bad news is that the jobs have been sent overseas.”

“The entree of a 'slumgulion’ meal just sounds too epicurean for county jail residents. Can the Vent publish a few recipes for swill or gruel?”

“Surely it’s been long enough for Gilbert Fire Chief Colin DeWitt to realize that he should draw out a map to show where the all the fire hydrants are, And I would imagine the firefighters have computers on their trucks so they can call up said map when they’re going to a fire to know where all the hydrants are before they get there, instead of wandering around like a bunch of Keystone Kops.”

“The Chandler Center for the Arts is getting a $7 million face lift, but Chandler city employees have been told that they aren’t getting any more raises because the city has to tighten its belt. Bottom line is that all the rich people going to the Center for the Arts are going to get their nice place fixed up for when they are going out for the evening, but the employees who are working their butts off aren’t getting anything.”

“Schnepf Farms is owned by Americans who should have property rights and freedom to develop a family friendly amusement center on their own property if they choose to. If they overcharge, no one is twisting your arm making you pay.”

“We don’t have enough police to catch the speeders. Drive the limit and quit bellyaching about the cameras.”

“Light rail sure would look good going north and south along the 51. You could get off right near the ballpark. And it would have been great going along the whole 101. You could get from one side of town to the other and not take a lot of time.”

“In this economy, the stock market is working like a soda machine without product inside — it still takes your money and dispenses nothing. This time, though, the empty lights are burned out.”

“I bought a medium diet soda today and realized that it cost me more than a gallon of gas. Hmmmm.… What is really going on? I haven’t heard anyone concerned over the price of gas lately.”

“Fuel is getting so cheap that somebody stole my car but left the gas!”

“As near as I can tell, Hollywood has only made 50 movies. And in the past six weeks, they have played each one of them 40 times!”

“I can’t remember why Al Gore received a Pulitzer, or whatever those awards were. Did he invent the Internet or global warming?”

“I’m real sorry to learn that Randy Johnson is leaving the Diamondbacks — but we all know how badly he needs the money.”

“The Cardinals are going to the Super Bowl! Have a little faith, baby!”

“I’m a snowbird and have been here three months already this year and have only gotten the finger once. Come on, you local guys, get with it, that’s the only free entertainment we get.”

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