The Vent: January 1 - East Valley Tribune: The Vent

The Vent: January 1

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Posted: Tuesday, January 1, 2008 12:50 am | Updated: 10:22 pm, Fri Oct 7, 2011.

“Prayers for peace, accompanied by a year-end prideful salute, for our selfless men and women in uniform, deployed on freedom’s frontiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

“Maybe in the next year, scientists can find out what causes women to blame their unhappiness on men.”

“A venter thinks we ought to cheer up; we have only one more year left. I hope you’re right. I hope the Republicans retake the U.S. House and the U.S. Senate.”

“Be you Republican or Democrat, if you think the Iraqi war was necessary in any way, you are a total idiot. Please remember that when you vote.”

“It’s my goal to make the Vent editor laugh out loud. I hope I have accomplished that sometime during the year.”

“SRP wants us to buy those CFL bulbs to replace those our regular bulbs. If they can tell me where I can buy them where they are not made in communist China, I’ll be happy to buy them. Otherwise, they can keep their CFL bulbs and I’ll pay the difference (in electricity costs).”

“Mesa Police Chief George Gascón is the consummate professional. ’Wingers and whiners, ala Joe Arpaio, should learn at his knee. Law enforcement through gamesmanship, grandstanding, publicity and booing solves nothing.”

“What don’t the police chiefs in the Valley understand? You give a guy a ticket, you arrest somebody. They don’t have proper documentation, you get ICE involved. It’s that simple. You guys aren’t the border police. You’re just our police.”

“I have no problem with people wanting to come here and work, especially when I see American citizens standing on corners begging and refusing to work. But please, don’t expect us to pay for their medical and food stamps. No one pays for mine.”

“Every time I stop drinking for a few days, I start seeing the world as it really is. Excuse me while I go to the store to buy some beer.”

“Why are there so many slobs that throw their garbage all over the streets? I’d hate to see the inside of their houses.”

“A sports writer ask(ed) how come the state’s representative has the right to have oversight of the NFL. How about billions of dollars of public subsidies? The NFL never should have had an exemption from anti-trust (laws).”

“With all of the chickens crowing, the dogs rowing every hour of the day, I feel like I am the one living in Mexico. Now, I want to go across one of our other borders.”

“Using steroids for older people with weak immune systems is not that uncommon. They’re better than developing pneumonia and being hospitalized.”

“Credit card companies want their holders of their cards to be more responsible for the outrageous interest and fine print. It doesn’t show much responsibility when you mail out credit card applications in bulk mail.”

“Replacing one senator for another is like one crash-test dummy letting the other one drive.”

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