The Vent: Aug. 29 - East Valley Tribune: The Vent

The Vent: Aug. 29

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Posted: Friday, August 29, 2008 12:43 am | Updated: 8:37 pm, Fri Oct 7, 2011.

“How dare you, East Valley Tribune, put John McCain on the front page of the paper (Wednesday) when the DNC is going on! Hillary Clinton had her out-of-the-ballpark speech. Our governor, Janet Napolitano, had a lot of interesting and smart things to say.”

“Hillary Clinton’s speech (Tuesday) proved two things. No. 1, she has more class in her little finger than (Barack) Obama has in his giant ears. And No. 2, it proves that she should be our nominee.”

“I was a Hillary supporter and now embrace Barack wholeheartedly. Hillary’s time will come. Hope feels good.”

“Gov. Napolitano: John McCain may have trouble understanding the economy. But you plain just don’t get humanity.”

“Shame on you, channel 12. You mocked our governor and you mocked Hillary Clinton’s speeches.”

“John Hook on channel 10 Fox news says that either way the presidential race turns out, either Biden or McCain are going to be out of the Senate. He needs to remember that the vice president is the president of the Senate.”

“When it comes to helping children in the United States and around the world, Hillary Clinton talks about it all the time. Cindy McCain does it all the time.”

“Old McCain had a house, e-i-e-i-o! With a house, house here, and a house, house there, and a house, house everywhere, Old McCain had a house, e-i-e-i-ooo!”

“According to John McCain’s ads, he is now claiming to be ‘The Original Maverick.’ My memory must be really bad, because I could have sworn that it was James Garner.”

“Hopefully, all the traffic enforcement camera protesters received speeding tickets on the way home, compliments of the camera. People, just slow down. You won’t have to worry about the cameras and that will help eliminate our freeway stress.”

“To all the construction contractors and workers who didn’t show up, didn’t return my call, did shoddy work, and tried to rip me off during the good times, how’d this last year taste?”

“Wow! The LPGA requires English. At least somebody is doing something right. I am so sick of all of the Spanish commercials and TV stations. I hope this trend keeps up.”

“The venter who is worried about the American citizen who lives in Canada and got a stimulus check needs to know that U.S. citizens are subject to tax on their worldwide income, regardless of where they live. So if one of them gets a stimulus check, it’s all right with me.”

“Did your Canadian friends do the honorable thing and sent their checks back?”

“What I Know by Le Templar? He knows he likes fascist Kool-Aid and that’s all you need to know about him.”

“Using bike paths? Not me! They are more like suicide lanes. They are of no use unless they make them wider and away from cars and trucks going 45, 50, 60 mph.”

“I’d like to write-in Bill Richardson for next Maricopa County sheriff.”

“I’m so happy they keep interrupting my regular programs just to tell me it’s raining. Otherwise, I’d probably be up all night trying to figure out why is my driveway so wet.”

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