The Vent: May 21 - East Valley Tribune: Opinion

The Vent: May 21

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Posted: Saturday, May 21, 2011 3:15 am

"I recently bought a bicycle to ride to work and for local errands and shopping. It creates no polution and, instead of four-dollar-a-gallon gasoline, it burns fat. A quick glance about the Valley will tell you that human butt lard is cheap and plentiful!"

"Robert Gates, our Secretary of Defense, has worked for eight presidents, including Bush II. In a "60 Minutes" interview he said that the raid on bin Laden's compound was "one of the most courageous calls I've ever seen ... a very gutsy call." He never said that about Bush, but he had no reservations saying that about President Obama. CIA Director Leon Panetta stated that "no CIA detainee revealed the courier's name or whereabouts", and Sen. McCain - someone who knows first-hand about torture - insisted that waterboarded prisoners did not yield the information that led to the finding of bin Laden. Sounds like the Wednesday venter has a bad case of sour grapes."

"Stephen Hawking will sit there with a straight face and tell you that something can create itself from nothingness. Now I am supposed to believe this moron when he says there is there no Heaven? What is really funny is that supposedly intelligent people actually believe that this guy has intelligence."

"Attention Mesa's schools: Office staff and teachers should be very grateful parents do not vote you into your job. If this was the case, many of you would be out of a job."

"Thanking Obama for killing Osama is like thanking Ronald McDonald for the burger. It's the guy cooking the burger that should get the credit, not the clown."

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