"Anyone listening to KEZ's Christmas music this year? Do they play anything else besides ‘Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree' by Brenda Lee, ‘Silver Bells' by Doris Day and ‘Jingle Bell Rock' by Bobby Helms? Last year they played those three songs ad nauseum, and I'm wondering if they added more variety to their repertoire this year."
"Am I correct in assuming that the Arizona Republican Party is going to reimburse the state for the costs of Jan Brewer's efforts to gerrymander a more GOP-friendly redistricting map?"
"You RINOs and your liberal Democrat colleagues must really hate and fear Russell Pearce. Maybe you should. Some of us will vote for him no matter what office he runs for. How about Maricopa County Sheriff after Joe packs it in?"
"Since Obama took credit for Osama Bin Laden's assassination, is he going to take the blame for the feds ignoring this latest terrorist they just arrested in NYC?"
"Obama pardoned two turkeys? The turkeys should have pardoned him and sent to a farm ... Leavenworth!"
"Hey Brewer and Horne, can you stop violating our rights and stop holding up the medical marijuana law? I'm tired of having to go down to my local high school and buy it from the kids in the parking lot."
"The final score is in on the 12-member Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction: Grover Norquist 1, the American people 0."
"I'd like the government's ‘Super-Committee' to help me with my finances. I have maxed out all of my credit cards, and there are so many sales I wanted to take advantage of on Black Friday. Please tell me how to spend more money than I have to reduce my credit card debt. I would be very interested to know. Just paying down my debt isn't working for me."
"John Latson, you had a non-value added job when you worked. People amused themselves by mocking your views. You were a goof then and you're a goof now."
"In Mesa, if you get a ticket for a traffic light violation just toss it and if you have an accident in one of these Mesa intersections, sue the City of Mesa. They have a red hand that's flashing and no one knows how long and some count down and when it gets to zero it turns yellow. Some continue on 8 to 10 seconds before the light turns red, some have a red hand that's just red. I'm sure Mayor Scott Smith will take care of this when he gets done pouring heat strips along the canals, which is so much more important than saving someone's life."
"The $50 million, Catholic Community Foundation of Phoenix wanted to honor the past Bishop of Phoenix, Bishop O'Brien at a gala dinner. Does that name ring a bell? He was convicted of felony hit-and-run in the death of a pedestrian and just got probation. Two weeks before that, Bishop O'Brien signed a court agreement that he allowed priests under his supervision to have contact with minors after he became aware of allegations of criminal sexual misconduct. Bishop O'Brien declined the honor after families of victims protested. What convicted felon will this foundation be honoring next?"