Trust me. I really wanted to avoid the groin-tweeting thing altogether, but you might as well try to avert your eyes from a bullfight in a bowling alley. To the average civilian, the subject must seem riper than a three-week-old banana for major mocking and scoffing and taunting. Slam-dunking from a step-ladder. The problem is: How do you parody a parody?
Unfortunately, the unfortunately named Anthony Weiner is the only game in town, sucking all the oxygen out of the newsroom. For instance, it's almost impossible to discover the subject of Sarah Palin's newest revisionist history lLesson. Did Abraham Lincoln declare war on the French to sabotage tort reform? Even the resignation of Newt Gingrich's entire campaign staff went relatively unnoticed. Apparently their love of their country is just too strong.
And the whole brouhaha is the New York Democrat's own damn fault. There wouldn't have been half the outcry if his name wasn't a synonym for sausage. After all, the choice of pronunciation is his. Could have taken a page out of John Boehner's playbook. Of course, boner-baner is way different than wiener-whiner. Whiner is still a lousy name for a politician. Appropriate perhaps, especially for a Democrat, but lousy nonetheless. It's one of those rock-and-a-hard-place deals. But he could have gone bold: "Yes, its spelled W-E-I-N-E-R, but we pronounce it... Schultz."
Congressman Weiner (and boy, isn't that turning out to be generically redundant) first lied about his unique approach to junk mail, but after allegations piled up like parking tickets on an abandoned VW van in a white zone, he broke down and was frank about his franking. At long last, he finally could say with certitude that the crotch in question was indeed his.
The Brett Favre wannabe admitted sexting six different women he met online, including a porn star, who reported that he tried to get her to lie about their relationship, but she refused. Pretty sad when the porn industry exhibits higher standards of integrity than Congress. But that's old news.
So far, Weiner has resisted all calls to step down, which ironically has the Democratic leadership muttering unprintable imprecations under their breath. But the guy didn't break any laws. He's just a lout. And you can't force members of Congress to resign for being an oaf or you'd never be able to assemble a quorum. Besides, I'd be surprised if Harry Reid knows what a Twitter is.
To say that expressions of party support have been scarce is similar to noting that few Episcopal ministers sport flamboyantly inked dragon neck tattoos. Not even good friend Bill Clinton has spoken out in defense of his fellow serial womanizer. Bill Clinton, who officiated at Weiner's wedding. And doesn't that explain a lot. Amongst other accomplishments we can now add to the former president's resume -- carrier. Typhoid Bubba.
Will Durst is an author, political satirist and Emmy-nominated comedian. He can be reached at durst@caglecartoons.com.
Leon Ceniceros posted at 6:55 am on Mon, Jun 13, 2011.
DEMOCRAT-Congressman Anthony Weiner was only following in the footsteps of his great friend and mentor.......
DISGRACED PRESIDENT........BILL CLINTON............who's photo with Congressman
Weiner was in the background of the infamous...."CHECK OUT MY BODY"....photo..taken in the Congressman's Washington, D.C. Office.
Accuracy posted at 8:59 am on Mon, Jun 13, 2011.
Democrat Rep. Anthony Weiner says he will begin what he calls "a short leave of absence" to get psychological treatment at an undisclosed location, starting this week.
Weiner has admitted exchanging messages with several women online that ranged from being sexually suggestive to explicit, also admitted trading messages with a 17-year-old Delaware high school student. And more lewd photos sent by the New York lawmaker were discovered Saturday and Sunday.
Concerning Bill Clinton, who officiated at Weiner's wedding; Weiner's wife, Huma Abedin, is set to return to the U.S. in a few days after traveling with her boss, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Dale Whiting posted at 11:02 am on Mon, Jun 13, 2011.
The problem is not that Weiner is a Democrat. Republicans have misbehaved and acted poorly, too. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Tony will soon be gone. But this problem of over sexed politicians will remain.
AmericanPatriot posted at 1:00 pm on Mon, Jun 13, 2011.
"Pretty sad when the porn industry exhibits higher standards of integrity than Congress." That just about sums it up guys. Pretty sad indeed. Reminds me of Sen. Larry Craig toe tapping a cop's shoe in the Minneapolis airport men's room. Our elected officials are all a bunch of whores. They serve America for a very high price, but that's just their base pay. The money they get from special interest groups on the side is where the real money is. Obama went from community organizer to senator to millionaire to president practically overnight. He serves only himself and his master's agenda, like all the rest of them. Wiener boy shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone.
Dale Whiting posted at 8:51 am on Wed, Jun 15, 2011.
You know, now that Tony's wife is back, should they work out any problems between them which might be troublesome and she support his staying on in Congress, I'd say "Go for it." His constituents seem supportive! And that's what counts most.
NothingButTheTruth posted at 11:31 am on Wed, Jun 15, 2011.
Dale, thou name is hypocrite.
Dale Whiting posted at 7:30 pm on Thu, Jun 16, 2011.
How so, NothingButTheTruth.
I said Tony's problem was that he lied about his involvement. Had he come out and amiteed his problem up front and not tried to engage in a coverup chances are his support would have sustained him. But it was his lying that lost him his party support. And apparently he now realizes that in our strict two party system of politics, he's dead meat. I said as much before. But if his constituents want to re-elect dead meet, that is what we call democracy, NBTT. Since you are not one of his constituents, you have no say, do you!