Lewis, an 8-week-old kitten, sits in the palm of Tom Moran’s hand, studying the Arizona Humane Society’s cat room like a child watching the world from a Ferris wheel seat. He has no idea that this is an audition — or that he’s doing well.
Lewis, an 8-week-old kitten, sits in the palm of Tom Moran’s hand, studying the Arizona Humane Society’s cat room like a child watching the world from a Ferris wheel seat. He has no idea that this is an audition — or that he’s doing well.
“See, this is good: He’s inquisitive. Friendly. I think he’s going to go.” Moran, a genial, spectacled Humane Society staffer, is also a talent scout of sorts. He is Simon Cowell on a different kind of “American Idol,” where the standards are high, the competition is brutal and every single contestant is chasing a dream.
Welcome to auditions for “Pets on Parade” (video).
Making the cut
The Arizona Humane Society is marking its 50th year of service in the Valley; housing, treating and rehabilitating stray pets and guiding them to new homes. “Pets on Parade” has been their most public face. The Saturday adoption show is the longest-running local television program, presenting more than 24,000 dogs, cats and critters over the past 49 years. But making the cut for “PoP” isn’t just a matter of cute or cuddly. Animals who qualify must be spayed or neutered; they must pass health and behavioral screenings, look their best, and travel well. Dusty, a huge, adorable Weimaraner, won’t be of them. “Oh, he’s a great dog,” Moran says, facing Dusty through the chain link. “We just don’t have a transport big enough to get him to the (television) studio.”
Six days before “PoP” airs, Moran works the kennels, cat rooms and critter cages at the Humane Society’s two branches, casting the week’s show. He wishes it were harder to find talent.
“We’ve got so many beautiful animals here, getting it down to just six dogs, four cats, and a critter is really tough,” he says. Moran develops a tentative list “with alternates, in case one or two gets sick, or doesn’t pass the screening.” He walks the dog kennels, doing a preliminary “stare test.”
“You give him a stare. If he bows his head after a few seconds, that’s good. That’s submissive.” A shuddering brown and white terrier puppy named Shakes gets voted on. Speedy, a gregarious white Lab puppy, likewise is approved for behavioral screening. Penny, a shy pug mix, and a pensive black Lab puppy named Angie make the cut, too. A beautiful German shepherd who quietly stares Moran down does not. “There may be aggression issues there. So she needs more work with our behaviorists,” he says.
Cats must travel well to be on the show. Critters must be hand-friendly. Dogs face the tougher cut of behavioral screening. “We put a dog in a few situations where it might show aggressive tendencies,” Humane Society spokeswoman Angela Stringfellow says.
In a separate room, Speedy has only tail wags and kisses for animal behaviorist Andy Gallo as he tugs lightly on the white Lab’s legs and coat to simulate the actions of children.
“We need to know if a dog has the patience for small children and other animals,” Gallo explains. Speedy remains friendly as another dog is brought in, even when the second dog horns in on his food. “Speedy doesn’t show food aggression, and could go to a house with other dogs.”
Gallo says all “PoP”’ dogs are similarly screened. “We want new owners to know: Do they get along with other dogs? Cats? Should they be in a house with just adults or older children?” That’s why they encourage adopters to bring current pets in for an introduction. “We want to make a match that lasts, so the dog won’t have to come back.” Speedy sails through his 15-minute screening, then defecates on the floor to celebrate. “They’re never sure what’s 'outside’ once they’re out of the kennels,” Stringfellow laughs. “So, that’s not a deal-breaker.”
Showtime!
Two minutes to taping, and Lewis is leadoff kitten on “Pets on Parade.” The show, taped Wednesday afternoons at the Phoenix studios of KTVK (Channel 3), is shot on a tight, one-and-done time frame that gives it all the pressure of live television.
Backstage is a circus: “Has anyone seen our human guest?” “PoP” host and Humane Society president Cheryl Naumann asks as Moran checks the mewling cat carriers and on-air handler Perry Fanzo acclimates Thelma, the Chinese hamster.
“It’s been a little crazy today,” Moran says. One cat had to be retrieved from the other campus at the last minute, he says, and Speedy, the sweet-tempered white Lab, was a late scratch due to kennel cough. His understudy? The sweet but untransportable Dusty. “We found a way to bring him,” he says.
Some animals show different sides in studio. Shakes the puppy has stopped shaking. Merlin, a Persian mix with a runaway underbite, is shocked and mystified. Clark, a black and white kitten, is quite vocal. Angie is still sad, and Lewis is still curious, playing with a toy mouse dangled at the TV table by handler Mary Anne Beath. Seconds before taping, Lewis finds plastic balls on the table, and begins taking chip shots toward the Channel 3 News desk. But he squirms adorably around Beath’s fingers when the camera light flares and co-host Stringfellow says, “First, let’s meet Lewis ... ”
Lewis is much more subdued at the Humane Society’s Campus for Compassion the following Saturday, snoozing in a plexiglass hutch behind a sign stamped “Pets on Parade.” The show, which aired earlier that day, announced its animals would be available for adoption at 3 p.m. Now Lewis, Clark and Merlin wait in their hutches for the 3 o’clock crush. Dusty, Shakes and the other dogs bide their time in kennels across the courtyard.
“It’s really hard to predict who’ll get adopted,” says Jan Christner, who runs the Saturday adoptions. “If more than one family wants an animal, we draw for names.”
But today they draw hard numbers. Only 16 people appear. Only three pets, all dogs, get a “Yippee, I’m Adopted” sign on their kennel door. Three families draw for little Shakes, who goes to a couple from Fountain Hills. Angie, the sad black Lab puppy, goes to a delighted Peoria family. Lewis, Clark and Merlin must wait another day to find homes. “It’s a shame because we get so many cats,” Christner says. “I don’t know if it’s the hot weather or school letting out. (The crowd) is usually wall-to-wall. Every (unselected) animal will be up for general adoption.”
But today belongs to the winners, like Penny, the lonely little pug who is now the idol of the Land family and the newest resident of Waddell. “I usually go through the Humane Society,” Dana Land says. “They seem to like you more because you saved them. I think it’s because they know.”
On TV
“Pets on Parade” airs at 12:30 p.m. Saturdays on KTVK-TV (Channel 3).
