Certain things you just don’t think of together: Waffles and plutonium. Dick Cheney and break dancing. Jackie Collins and Biloxi, Miss.
Well, waffles aren’t radioactive and Cheney won’t bust a move anytime soon.
But Jackie Collins, scribe of Tinseltown sin, is ridin’ a bus on the Bayou.
“I really am doing fantastic down here!” Collins declares, in her crisp English accent. “Biloxi has great shrimp and lobster!”
The author of “Lucky,” “Hollywood Wives” and “Drop Dead Beautiful” is casino-hopping in a 45-foot, hot pink bus to promote her newest novel, “Married Lovers.”
Collins will be rolling into the Valley Wednesday for a meet, greet and book signing at Harrah’s Ak-Chin Casino.
“I believe life is an adventure,” she says. “I always get up for something different. When Harrah’s asked, 'Would you like to tour the country in a bus?’ I said, 'Bring it on!’ ”
Her Southern tour puts Collins in touch with people she couldn’t imagine from the Hollywood Hills.
“Today, in Biloxi, I did a signing for 150 people. They’re so much more polite out here than in Hollywood! They call you 'ma’am.’ They call everybody 'ma’am.’ ”
The vehicle allows the 70-year-old author to swarm and surprise her fans.
“We’ve been stopping at bookstores along the way, making a little excitement. Or I’ll stop at a Target and pose for pictures with the checkout girls. It’s great to meet them!”
Her blog (www.jackiecollins.com) extols the virtues of the South, especially Southern cooking.
“It’s all so delicious — but it’s all deep-fried,” she exclaims. “I’m petrified to get on a scale when I return!”
In the meantime, she promotes “Married Lovers,” which mixes new wrinkles with familiar fare.
“I wanted to write about marriage, and about a girl used and abused,” she says. “Anya, one of my characters, is a Russian girl caught up in the Chechnyan War, and rescued by one of my main characters. It’s also about Cameron Paradise, a strong-minded fitness trainer, and a powerful producer who wants her.”
Fitness trainers, she says, are the latest set gaining access to Hollywood’s power elite.
“Hollywood has changed since I started writing about it — what? — 26 books ago,” she says. “It’s become very business-oriented. You still have a few genuine personalities, like Brett Ratner or Quentin Tarantino. But, more and more, the business has been taken over by accountants. That’s why 'creativity’ consists mostly of men who make gross-out movies for 18-year-old boys. It’s a shame. (The movie) 'Sex and the City’ proves there’s an audience for something more.”
But corporate-driven creativity, she says, is just a phase.
“It will definitely cycle back,” she laughs. “It’ll take me doing a fabulous miniseries on my other 'Lucky’ books.”
Until then, she’s content to be a road warrior, taking the South one casino at a time.
“I love it! I’ve already gone through three publicists on this trip. They’re dropping like flies!”