'SNL' acts deserving of a shot at movie stardom - East Valley Tribune: Get Out

'SNL' acts deserving of a shot at movie stardom

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Posted: Saturday, May 22, 2010 1:15 am

Sure, we enjoy a quick chuckle as much as the next guy, which is why we love "Saturday Night Live's" minute-long "MacGruber" sketches. But we have to admit, we're a little mystified as to how Will Forte was able to turn them into a feature-length movie.

Time will tell whether "MacGruber," opening this weekend, will join "The Blues Brothers" or "Wayne's World" in the annals of classic "SNL" spinoffs or go down as another "Superstar" or "The Ladies' Man." Either way, we're sure it won't be the last "SNL"-based flick. Here are five acts we think deserve their own shots at cinematic glory.

Debbie Downer

Starring: Rachel Dratch

The pitch: "American Splendor" meets "Precious."

The plot: In a world beset by North Korean train explosions and feline AIDS, nothing ever goes right for the saddest sack in town. In gritty indie-film style, we learn the story of Debbie's two-year stint at Children's, her elevated blood-mercury level and -- it's official! -- her inability to have kids. (Wah-wah ...) Guaranteed to bring the house down at Sundance.

Dream director: Noah Baumbach

Potential pitfalls: Co-stars Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz won't be able to keep a straight face during filming.

 

George W. Bush

Starring: Will Ferrell as Bush, Dana Carvey as Bush Sr., Darrell Hammond as Al Gore/Dick Cheney

The pitch: It's like "W.," but intentionally funny.

The plot: As Barack Obama takes office, the outgoing 43rd president reflects on a montage of his most awesomest achievements, from throwing that strike during the World Series to landing that jet on the aircraft carrier to that one time he found an arrowhead while mowing the lawn in Crawford. The entire film is set to Free Bird.

Dream director: We're pretty sure Adam McKay is bound by federal law to direct anything Will Ferrell does.

Potential pitfalls: We're having trouble thinking of a role for Danny McBride. Michael Moore, maybe?

 

The Continental

Starring: Christopher Walken

The pitch: The world is over Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Teenage girls need a new locker pinup. This mustachioed master of seduction with the beguiling accent and so-so talent for pickup lines could be the next big thing.

The plot: After one too many glasses of fine champagna, the Continental wakes up married to the beautiful woman he has so often attempted to woo. The ensuing escapades are part "The Hangover," part "What Happens In Vegas" and part "The Deer Hunter."

Dream director: Spike Jonze. He and Walken were magic together on Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" video.

Potential pitfalls: That Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" ripped off the Continental's schtick!

 

"The Barry Gibb Talk Show"

Starring: Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake

The pitch: A satire of "Saturday Night Fever," with a little "All The President's Men" thrown in for good measure.

The plot: Hailing from the mean streets of Sydney, Barry and Robin Gibb are international pop stars. But all they really want is to be taken seriously in politics. After discovering a terrible secret about former California Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, they take to the airwaves to make their perfectly harmonized voices heard.

Dream director: Rob Marshall. This movie needs razzle-dazzle dance numbers and sweet karate moves, and the director of "Chicago," "Nine" and "Memoirs of a Geisha" is just the guy to help.

Potential pitfalls: Does Robin add anything to the plot? No, he doesn't.

 

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Starring: Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert

The pitch: A live-action comic-book flick starring the original voices of Ace and Gary. Can we buy our tickets now?

The plot: As Congress prepares for a vote on "don't ask, don't tell," the Capitol is taken hostage by supervillain Bighead. The world turns to America's most heroic confirmed bachelors, only to find them doing dancercize to Lady Gaga in their shared studio apartment. In unison, Ace and Gary ask: "What's everyone looking at?"

Dream director: Gus Van Sant

Potential pitfalls: Carell and Colbert might be too busy with their own shows But we're convinced Ace and Gary's will-they-or-won't-they romantic tension isn't dead yet. Audiences across America would cheer during the inevitable onscreen kiss.

 

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